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Soon the bowl of Crunchberries cereal I just ate will fill me with regret

But not right now. I just finished. I’m fine. I might get another. Probably shouldn’t. That would definitely fill me with regret.

There’s a weird tiny electric current happening in my lower lip. I will not google that. It could only lead to dark places.

Obsessed sounds a tad unhealthy, but I’m kinda obsessed with Bo Burnham of late. I’ve watched all the Netflix specials. I think he’s amazing. I also loved him in Promising Young Woman. And Eighth Grade was maybe my favorite film of 2018. I think I kind of want to be Bo Burnham. That doesn’t sound healthy either.

Well.

Today I played bags. Some people call it Cornhole. It’s the bean bag toss game. I did better than I expected. Sometimes you surprise yourself with getting those bean bags in that hole. Magic.

What is going on with my lower lip?

Peonies!

You can’t really tell from the photo but I think this is the biggest pig that has ever existed.

Sammy at the Iowa Farm Sanctuary.

Cat

I am not a summer girl

I am glad summer is almost here. I say this as it is late May and barely above 50 degrees. I don’t know if seasons in Iowa have always been wacky or if it is climate change issue, but two days ago it was practically 90 and now I’m snuggled under blankets and saying “brrrr” out loud to no one.

Winter is a thing to get through. It’s fine at first. Charming, even. There’s always the hope for a white Christmas. And a blizzard is gorgeous. The first blizzard. The third blizzard is pretty but painful. The one that sometimes comes in April is nothing short of a curse. Iowa. People decided to settle here. Way back. I guess the land was good for farming. But they stayed for winter! Even when there’s a whole lot of coastal states to choose from. I settled here! I went away to Texas and then came back. Of course, summer in Texas might be worse than winter in Iowa. It’s hard to say. I change my mind with the seasons.

I am looking forward to maybe going strawberry picking this year. I say that every year. I have yet to go strawberry picking. But I like that I can if I want to.

I am not a summer girl. I do not want to get in a bathing suit and spend time in a pool with a hundred other souls, some of them children who don’t care about where they pee. Some of them maybe adults who don’t care about where they pee. I do not love the sun. I know the sun is important and I would miss it if it wasn’t around as much (as I do in the winter), but when it beats down on me and makes me squint and gives me burns and rashes and sweaty bras, then, I do not like it.

I am an autumn girl. No surprise. I’m not special, I know. But I think it’s up there on the list of reasons I couldn’t stay away from the midwest. That and the traffic and cockroaches. Cockroaches in Texas are practically human sized. Autumn has days right on the verge of both warm and cool. Days where you feel most alive, I swear. Like you could conquer things. Like you have the energy to carve pumpkins. And the leaves fall and swirl and crunch. And you think more about hot chocolate you’ll never get because why get a hot chocolate when you can get a mocha, but still. You could. And cardigans. I love cardigans. Autumn is for walks and library visits and wine tasting and apple picking. All good things.

Do you want to see my arty photos of my cat?

I feel like I could take a thousand pictures of her at the windowsill.

Hello.

It is spring. The trees are blossoming. There are petals blanketing the sidewalks.

I am sneezing a lot.

When it rains I want to stay in bed and read true crime reddit.

Someday I’m going to give up sugar

I mean, at least cut way down. I did it once. For a long time. Does 4 months count as a long time? I didn’t give up sugar but I didn’t eat candy every day. I think it could be just the thing to make me feel so much better. Like, not having headaches and spaciness. At least that is what I’ve decided, anyway. If this is going to work, I can never again go to grocery store. Especially not Trader Joe’s where they have those Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups taunting me. And their Toffee Chips they say are “enrobed” in milk and dark chocolate. What a word? Enrobed.

No, I don’t have much faith in myself, either.

You know what else are really good? Yep, those chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels.

Moving

You know that list of the most stressful things of stressful things? Moving is top five. Like maybe top two. Especially if you’ve got a place you need to sell. And that place is over 100 years old and has 100 year old problems. Or at least thirty year old problems. And some five year old problems, probably. I don’t want to do this. Especially the part where I have to try to really scrub some caulking. There’s also the hiring plumbers part. And trying and trying and trying to get the roof company to actually come out and fix the roof (we are going on like 5 months now).

So, tell me, what are your favorite cocktails?

Hey. Some recs.

E. Lockhart is a lovely writer. We all know how amazing We Were Liars is. I recently finished Again Again. Very nice (why does that sound like Borat in my head?).

We did just watch the second Borat movie. I may not have stayed for every scene. Sometimes I had to leave the room. Real life cringe comedy is difficult for me. Many times I could be found hitting my husband’s arm saying “Oh no! Oh my God. Nope. No.” I did laugh, of course. A lot. And Maria Bakalova, who played his daughter, was absolutely incredible.

The album I played the most in 2020 was Waxahatchee’s Saint Cloud. It is a gorgeous album and gives me all those good feels.

Shithouse is a really good movie I feel like I once upon a time could have made. Or something similar. Back when I wanted to make films. It is my aesthetic, is what I’m saying. Go watch Shithouse.

I finally read John Langan’s The Fisherman and really enjoyed it, because I love weird fiction. Although I have a lot I’m confused about and no one to ask. I don’t know John Langan. He probably doesn’t want to go to dinner with me and answer my questions. He probably lives in Maine or something. Maine is far away.

I finished Schitt’s Creek. Patrick and David forever!

Now to get back to Ted Lasso. I do like that Ted Lasso. He’s a good bloke.